Modern Goddess Magazine

No one can really know what it is like to be a mother until you become one. It is so easy looking on from the outside to say “I would do that differently” or “Why doesn’t she wear some makeup?” Until you have become a mother there is no way that you could see all sides of the story.

Being a mother is difficult. Imagine waking up one morning to find that little shards of your personality have splintered off into talking, demanding personalities on legs? There are little pieces of you everywhere, making messes, needing lunches cut, demanding your taxi services and so on. Like a dream, this just keeps on happening day after day… Often, the bigger those little personalities get the smaller yours can get until it is lost inside the daily battle of organisation vs. the ticking clock.

Is it any wonder that you see mothers dashing in and out of the supermarket in tracksuits, ponytails and makeup-free? Who has time to make themselves look beautiful before they buy that loaf of bread? When the day is full of nothing but tiny little details and great big housework everything else seems unimportant. These mothers have lost themselves in the stress of getting everything done. They put themselves last while making sure that little Jenny has the shoes she needs for the dance, and Billy has the football he wants.

How do we change the word SELF from being a four letter word to becoming part of a mother’s regular vocabulary? These mothers started out being fully fledged individuals with opinions of their own. How can we help them to find that part of themselves again?

My guess is that the first thing we need to do is to lift their eyes up and away from the home. They need to find something to do somewhere else, whether it is taking a course or joining a committee. Really, it doesn’t matter what it is as long as it places them in an environment where they are not serving someone. It is amazing what changes are made in a woman who is suddenly part of something in the real world. After all, look at how Cinderella blossomed at the ball.

Secondly, we need to boost her confidence in some way. What a difference a good haircut or pamper can make to your confidence. “Oh yes, I have a body, too, don’t I? I forgot about that.”

Mother’s Day is almost here and this is your opportunity to make a difference to her world. Instead of giving her that box of chocolates again that the kids will probably take over, why not give her something significant? Book her a manicure, take her shopping (for clothes, not food!), sign up for a course together, go to the Art Gallery, learn to line dance. The sad thing is that Mothers Day happens only once a year. That is a long time between confidence boosts. Why not select something that she can have or do on a regular basis?

This year, put some thought into the gift. Give your mother something to feed her soul, something that will rejuvenate her. Give her your time and attention. You don’t have to neglect her just because she neglects herself. Show her that you value her and you never know, she might just start to value herself again.