Modern Goddess Magazine

I have a cousin that is two weeks younger than me. When we were little, my grandfather had a boat that he parked in his yard during the winter until summer time allowed him to bring it back to the marina. Although we weren’t supposed to climb on it, we often did and I would tell my cousin that when I grew up, I planned on driving that boat to far away lands for great adventure. She told me that she wouldn’t be able to come with me, because her kids would need her to take them to school. I rolled my eyes.

I was taller than her in those days and I confess that I even bullied her. I could see the importance in everything that I wanted to do and she frustrated me with her inability to want anything more than to have a loving family. I rolled my eyes.

When we were around ten I fancied that I would grow up to be a famous archeologist (Indiana Jones MIGHT have had something to do with that fantasy). In my mind I traveled to Egypt and uncovered ancient pyramids beneath the hot sand. My cousin mentioned that the heat wouldn’t agree with her and it was too dangerous to travel that far with babies. I rolled my eyes.

By the time that we were teenagers she took one giant leap and decided to dedicate a year of her life to David Bowie, which I thought was ridiculous, but hey, it was a diversion from her absolute, unwavering path to marriage and motherhood. The years of idolizing rock stars passed and in her early twenties she married her high school sweetheart.

We’re grown now, both married with families of our own and we live eight hundred miles apart. Until last year, our families shared a beach house every summer and in this way we kept tabs on each other and watched our children grow. It turned out that archeology and sailing weren’t my destiny, but each year I showed up at that beach house with what I considered a glamorous story of my career and my achievements. She listened, laughed and sometimes poked fun at me, but her story never changed. Sure, she had hobbies and jobs, but what she raved about was her family. I rolled my eyes.

Recently, as difficult times were delivered in her life, she said to me, “It’s different for you. You always wanted other things and all I ever wanted was to have fun and be at peace with my solid family.” I didn’t roll my eyes. It was true and she had followed such a direct and determined path toward that goal that I was humbled.

As I began to think about what I would write in connection with the theme for this month’s magazine, images of my cousin continually swirled around my mind. All of those years when time seemed to be passing me by and I felt frustrated for not achieving the goals that I had set for myself, she was content. She achieved her dreams. Not only that, but she has selflessly set aside any desire for personal grandeur in order to bring stability, strength of character and great love to the lives of three children and to her husband.

She has that family that she has always dreamed about and they love her. She remains married to her high school sweetheart in one of the most loving marriages that I’ve ever had the privilege to witness and the close community of friends that surround them is nothing like I’ve seen in the life of anyone else. The beauty of her life strikes me often because it is full and satisfied. It isn’t without its trials, because none of us gets a free pass in that regard, but to live contentedly and happily is an achievement that few of us attain.

In Dr. Wayne Dyer’s book, “Living the Wisdom of the Tao”, he includes an affirmation that says, “There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.” There is no greater achievement than living a full and happy life. Although I have met hundreds of people from all walks of life, I have never met anyone that doesn’t wish to live a happy life. No matter what our achievements may be, there is none that compares to a life that exemplifies happiness.

Webster’s dictionary gives a definition for achievement as, “to bring about a desired result”. My cousin has brought about her desired result and without spending years trying to figure out any inner conflict, she has discovered that happiness is the way. I respect her and am deeply grateful that she is a part of my life. May we all achieve and bring about our desired results in such a magnanimous way. I’m definitely not rolling my eyes anymore.

Image by blmurch